BSC in the USA, Super Special #14

A little road trip mood music for you.

And in today's edition of improbable BSC vacations, we get the BSC RV road trip across the United States, East Coast to West Coast. How, you may ask? Well, dear reader, let's dive right in.

In the ever changing BSC timeline of 8th grade, we are in the summer after 8th grade, in which Dawn is living back in California and Abby is a member of the BSC. So...maybe the 4th or 5th summer after 8th grade. Mr. Schafer, Dawn's father, is driving an RV from New York to the California, as a favor for his art dealer friend, Mr. Choi, who is moving across the country. He plans to drive Dawn and Jeff, who have been visiting their mom in Stoneybrook, back to California with him, as a fun, family road trip. Dawn, naturally, freaks out about the carbon footprint of RVs. 

Dawn always gives me Sara Rue "Can't Hardly Wait" vibes

Watson Brewer finds out about this trip, and he decides that, of course, he too should rent an RV and do a cross country road trip with the Brewer-Thomas clan (not the first time he has had vacation inspiration from another BSC family member). And, somehow, of course, this naturally leads to the entire BSC being asked to join in this trip (I mean, sure, Watson and Elizabeth would probably like some babysitting for their clan, but why would Mr. Schafer want a bunch of 13 and 11 year old girls along for the ride? And why don't Karen, David Michael, Andrew, or Jeff get to invite any friends along? Like, ever?) So, we end up with 15 people between the 2 RVs. For 2 weeks. I'm getting claustrophobic just thinking about it. Anyway, everyone on the trip gets to pick one place to visit on the way, so the RVs end up being divided by a North trip and a South trip, with both meeting in Palo City, CA at the end of the two weeks.

So, the RVs are divided as follows:

The Schafer RV/Northbound route: Mr. Schafer, Dawn, Stacey, Mary Anne, Claudia, Jeff, and Kristy (she goes in this RV to balance the numbers. Or, maybe, she just wanted to escape her family for 2 weeks)

The Brewer RV/Southbound route: Watson, Elizabeth, Abby, Jessi, Mallory, David Michael, Karen, and Andrew (Kristy's older brothers, Charlie and Sam, were at camp during this trip)

Sigh...trying to muster the energy to do this...

Ok. Southbound RV. Let's break it down by city/adventure.

Oakley, NJ: This is not an official stop or pick, but since it is on the way, Watson stops here so Jessi can visit her family. They go to Grandpa and Grandma Ramsey's house for lunch, and all of Jessi's aunts/uncles/cousins come visit as well. Mallory seems withdrawn and uneasy initially, and Jessi is worried that Mallory is afraid of black people/other races. Her grandmother points out that Mallory is just nervous because she is Jessi's best friend and wants to make a good impression on everyone. By the end of the visit, Mallory is completely at ease and joking around with Jessi's cousins, and Jessi feels bad that she ever doubted her BFF. All the feels.

Chincoteague Island, Virginia: Mallory's pick, because we get told in every book how much Mallory loves horses and the books by Marguerite Henry. They find out that Chincoteague is basically a tourist trap (similar to Gatlinburg or Branson, from the description), and the original Misty, the horse that inspired the books, has been stuffed and is on display in a store. The RV gets rear-ended in the bad traffic, but of course Watson got the rental insurance so we don't really care. They drive out to the less populated Assateague Island, where the wild horses still roam and are occasionally seen, have a picnic, and of course, the horses walk right by their lunch table. 

Memphis:  Abby's pick, because she is obsessed with Elvis. Watson and Elizabeth drop all the kids off to tour Graceland and go off on their own (I completely understand, I have been stuck at home with 2 kids since March, I want a break too). Abby admits that she believes that Elvis is still alive out there somewhere, and Karen thinks that she spots him in a pink Cadillac. They follow the Cadillac to a motel, knock on his door (just, why? How is that a good idea, kids?), where they find out that there is an Elvis impersonator conference in town. I just can't.

Dalton, Mississippi: Jessi's pick, because some of her ancestors used to be enslaved at the Dalton Plantation. The plantation is now a museum, with a tour of the antebellum home and a separate exhibit in some of the preserved slave quarters. Jessi meets an older African-American couple there, and the woman also had ancestors who were slaves there and tells Jessi some of the history not included on the tour. 

Lester, Oklahoma: Watson's pick, since his college roommate from Baylor (we get no explanation on how a Connecticut guy ends up at Baylor) lives there. They have lunch, and his friends comment on how unseasonably cool it is (anyone want to guess what a sudden cool spell in the heat of summer can mean? Bueller? Bueller?) Abby gets goosebumps on her arms, looks outside, and sees strange, green-tinged clouds. College bro (sorry, I didn't write down their names, because, frankly, I didn't care enough), looks outside, immediately flips on the television, and that's right, there is a tornado warning for Lester. Everyone crowds into the bathroom (no basement/storm cellar in the house), and Mr. Roommate runs around opening windows to "equalize the air pressure" in the house. Now, we all know this is a myth these days, but, as someone who grew up in Dixie Alley (and now lives in Tornado Alley in Missouri), I distinctly remember being told this in elementary school as stated fact. They hear the tell-tale freight train sound, and David Michael jokes about seeing the Wicked Witch, cars, and even cows fly past the bathroom window.

However, they soon hear a large crash, and DM gets scared for real. It's soon over, no major damage to the house, just a tree down outside, and some roof damage in other homes in the neighborhood. They hear on the news that it was an F1 tornado, and Mr. Roommate explains the Fujita scale to Mallory. She then asks what an F5 would be like.

Ten Gallon, Texas:  After leaving the suck zone, they head to Texas because David Michael's pick was to see a rodeo. However, they don't stay in the stands to actually see anything because someone explains what calf-roping is, and they realize that they don't want to see animals getting hurt or mistreated. They all play in the arcade/boardwalk/midway area of the rodeo, where they play carnival style games and ride ponies and a mechanical bull.

Albuquerque: Not an official stop, just where they stop for a rest. They see a sign for a nearby town, and Mallory recognizes the name from a pen pal program SES had that her siblings were involved in. They detour to the town, which is the home and school for the Zuni tribe of Native Americans, and they meet some of the students who were involved in the program. Because of course. It turns out that the Zuni school had been damaged in a fire, and the children from Stoneybrook had raised money for it, so there is a plaque at the school dedicated to them. 

Four Corners: Karen's pick, because she wanted to stand in four states at once. And that's about it.

Grand Canyon: Elizabeth Thomas-Brewer's pick, and they also stop and see Ship Rock Pinnacle and Monument Valley on the way. Abby is dreading this stop, because this was the vacation her father was planning for the family right before he was killed in a car accident. She walks a little way apart from the group, and finally makes peace with her father's memory, and decides that she, Anna, and her mom need to plan a trip there together.

San Diego: Andrew's pick because he wants to go to the San Diego Zoo. There has been a running gag throughout this trip about continually running into the people who ran into their RV back in Chincoteague, and of course they see them at the zoo as well, and even tour the zoo with them for a bit, blah, blah, don't really care. 

Wow. This is way longer than I expected, and I haven't even done the Northbound RV yet. Ok, take a bathroom/water (or alcohol)/stretch break, and buckle up for part 2....

Cleveland, Ohio: Kristy wanted to visit as many MLB parks as possible, see games if the teams are home, and get a ball cap at each. This one irritated me a bit, because she basically gets multiple stops throughout the trip. But, as a baseball fan, seeing a game at every park has been a secret wish of mine too, so I will accept it this time. So, they visit Jacobs Field, see the Indians play the Red Sox (BoSox won, if you care), and Kristy gets her cap. We find out that Stacey and Claudia know as little about baseball as they do about basketball, but they manage to enjoy themselves somewhat, especially when Mr. Schafer decides to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame while they are in Cleveland as well. 

Chicago: Claudia's pick, because she wants to visit the Art Institute of Chicago, where she is completely enraptured by the Impressionist collection they have on exhibit. They also stop by Wrigley Field so Kristy can buy a hat (no game), and we also find out that they stopped at Tigers Stadium in Detroit so Kristy could get that hat too. They eat at the original Pizzeria Uno, and the drama of the trip starts here, when Claudia is looking for her bag. She finds an unfamiliar notebook by her stuff, opens it, and realizes that it is Stacey's journal. At that very moment, of course, Stacey walks up and accuses Claudia of reading her diary. Claudia tries to deny it, but Stacey rushes away and proceeds to ignore Claudia the most of the trip.

Minneapolis/Bloomington, Minnesota: Mary Anne's original pick was to go to Maynard, Iowa to visit her maternal grandmother, but they end up meeting in Bloomington at the Mall of America instead. On the way, they stop in Milwaukee and Minneapolis to see the Brewers and Twins stadiums for Kristy. They enjoy the rides at Mall of America, do some shopping, and Dawn somehow convinces them to eat at some health food restaurant there. Claudia and Stacey still not talking.

Badlands, South Dakota: Not an official stop, but driving through on the way to their next destination. Mr. Schafer runs out of gas miles away from civilization, but a Jeep soon drives by and he hitches a ride to the next town, leaving the kids there. He is gone for several hours, and soon night falls, and no Mr. Schafer. The kids are freaking out, then they finally see headlights approaching. They immediately all rush out of the RV (apparently they have never seen any horror movies), and it is a policeman bringing Mr. Schafer back with gas. They drive into Wall, SD, home of the Wall Drug Store (apparently famous). There, Claudia wanders into an antique store and buys a sketch for $1 that reminds her of Georgia O'Keefe. She and Stacey are still not talking.

Yellowstone/Grand Tetons: Jeff's pick, because he wants to go rock climbing. They go hiking, where a bear walks through their picnic area (don't give the bears food, this is not Yogi Bear, kids). They see Old Faithful, the Grand Canyon (of Yellowstone, not that Grand Canyon), and the Upper Falls. They then head over to Grand Tetons National Park so that Jeff can finally go rock climbing/rappelling.

Buzzard Gulch, Idaho: Dawn's pick, because she wanted to visit an actual ghost town, but when they get there, it is very touristy/gimmicky. Dawn is initially embarrassed because she wanted to go somewhere authentic, but the whole group ends up having fun there. The great RV freeze out between Claud and Stacey continues.

Seattle: Stacey's pick because her current boyfriend, Ethan, is visiting there for the summer with his family. They have already arranged to meet at a cafe there, but of course Stacey only wrote down the main street, not the cross street as well, so there is this whole farce of them trying to locate the correct cafe. She finds it, meets up with Ethan, and Mr. Schafer drives off to take Kristy and the rest of the gang to a Mariners game. Ethan and Stacey walk to the Space Needle, go to the top, and the illustrators give us the most awkward rendering of a kiss that I have ever seen.

You're welcome.

After Mr. Schafer picks her back up, Stacey automatically starts to tell Claudia about her date before she realizes that she is supposed to be mad. They finally make up. Yay.

San Francisco: Mr. Schafer's pick, because he just really loves the city. They ride the cable cars, then go to a game at Candlestick Park, because of course everyone wants to go to another baseball game for Kristy. While there, Kristy just so happens to see her bio-dad on the Jumbotron. I...nope, I can't. Mary Anne saw him too, and Kristy decides she should go looking for him. She knows that he always preferred sitting on the first base side, and lo and behold, of course, she finds him. Of course. They have an awkward reunion, and he promises to write to her more often. 

After this, both RVs meet at the Schafer house in Palo City, where they have a big party, with the We Heart Kids club and Mr. Choi (remember him, from way back at the beginning? The owner of Mr. Schafer's RV?). Watson brings a platter of cold cuts, and Dawn is all offended that someone brought, and I quote, "processed dead pig slabs". Sigh... Meanwhile, Claudia is showing off her sketch from Wall, SD, and Mr. Choi looks it over, and said it is a pretty good imitation of Georgia O'Keefe's early work. While he is appraising it, Claudia and Stacey notice the signature on the back. That's right, you guessed it. It is an actual Georgia O'Keefe. Mr. Choi offers $500 for it, but Claudia decides not to sell it. 

They don't mention how everyone gets back to Stoneybrook, so I don't know if they all crowd into the Brewer RV or just fly back. I really hope they fly.

No fashion in this one. So I leave with you with some Cousin Eddie.

Jessi's Gold Medal, #55

 

I've said it before, but I learned most of my ballet knowledge from the Jessi books - tour jeté, plié, en pointe, arabesque, fouetté (think Jody Sawyer in Center Stage).

Anyway, while we open in ballet class, this is one of those books where a babysitter magically becomes an expert in something completely new. In this case, Jessi's talent at ballet somehow makes her an excellent synchronized swimmer? And she manages to, *spoiler alert*, win a gold medal?

It is late springtime in the Brook, and Jessi heads home from ballet class with her dad, who, according to her, sounds just like James Earl Jones (anyone automatically hear Mufasa say "Remember who you are...." Just me?). The Summer Olympics are coming up, and Jessi, inspired by the trials, asks her parents if they can get a pool. Her parents, after choking on their food at that request, tell her that they have considered it but that it is too expensive with the installation and maintenance (guess Mr. Ramsey got a subscription to the Jelly of the Month club instead of a Christmas bonus last year. At least it's the gift that keeps on giving all year long...). They tell her that they will get a family membership to the Stoneybrook Pool Complex instead (never heard that mentioned before, not sure if we ever will again). 

At school, it is announced that the SMS Sports Festival is coming up, and Claudia has been asked to design a logo for it. Because, of course she has. She is apparently the only artist in the whole town (did they forget Ashley Wyeth?). The Festival will include track and swimming events (sounds kind of like our Field Day in elementary school, minus the swimming). Most of the BSC wants to compete - Claudia wants to do some track event, Dawn is interested in shot put or pole vaulting (here I have to brag that my husband still holds the pole vaulting record for his middle school, over 20 years later. Yes, I married someone who once pole vaulted). Kristy wants to do a track event as well, while Jessi and Stacey are interested in swimming (I hope Stacey doesn't mess up her perm).

Mary Anne and Mallory, not surprisingly, want nothing to do with anything sports-related. After this announcement, at lunch, our favorite male BSC nemesis, Alan Gray, decides to loudly proclaim that he could beat Kristy in any race ever (I mean, how is a boy challenging a girl to an athletic contest going to work out at all for the boy? Especially in middle school - if he beats her, then his friends will say that he only beat a girl; if he loses, then he is now the boy who lost to a girl. Not great either way for your middle school reputation). Kristy, of course, is all

And somehow, as word spreads around school, the teachers decide to make this race a part of the Sports Festival. I just. Really.

Soon after, Jessi and Mallory learn that instead of regular gym classes, they will now be walking over to the Community Pool Complex (because it is conveniently next door to SMS. Of course.) for swimming lessons. Now, was this a thing in middle school? I mean, it didn't happen at our school, but of course we didn't have a pool (nor did the high school), nor did we have any community pool located nearby. This just seems like a big liability for a school to take on, unless it is actually for a swim team or something (and yes, SMS does have a swim team too). Whatever, it's Stoneybrook. Mallory once again bitches about how much she hates gym and gets embarrassed when she realizes that the girls will be taking swim classes at the same time as the boys. Like, I get that 6th grade is an awkward time (puberty, not a girl, not quite a woman, yada, yada), but AMM really needs to give Mallory more personality than this. However, while Mallory turns out to be a pretty good swimmer (all of those Sea City summers), it's Jessi that catches the eye of her coach while she is doing her swim test. After class, the coach introduces Jessi to Mrs. Cox, who thinks Jessi is "lyrical and smooth" in the water, and invites her to join the synchronized swimming program for the festival. Jessi ends up joining (I mean, are you surprised? Look at the cover), and she gets to do this instead of regular gym class until after the festival. 

At her first practice, Jessi is partnered with a girl named Elise, who happens to be on SMS's swim team (are there swim teams in middle school?). Elise is a stronger swimmer, but Jessi has better presentation/style, so their teacher hopes they can balance each other out. Then Mrs. Cox announces that there will be a group synchronized swimming performance at the festival, and then the pairs will compete against each other for medals. Jessi, of course, freaks out, especially after Mrs. Cox asks Jessi to choreograph her own routine, since she is a ballet dancer? Like...what? I get ballet could give you an edge, but does that qualify you to choreograph a routine for a sport you have only been doing for a matter of days at this point? Why do Stoneybrook adults continue to place responsiblities like these on actual children?

At the next BSC meeting, everyone announces in which events they have decided to compete. Dawn has selected javelin, since she figures not many others will sign up for it, while Claudia will do the backwards quarter mile (yes, that is an actual event), Stacey will compete in the breaststroke event, and Jessi, of course, in synchro. Kristy is going to compete in the 100 yard dash and the race against Alan Gray, which the teachers have decided will be an obstacle course. Kristy and Alan have bet a "week of personal service", so the loser will have to be the winner's servant for a week. If this book were aimed at a slightly older audience, that would mean something completely different. MA and Mallory, of course, will be up in their rooms, pretending they don't exist, I mean, will be in the stands as spectators.

Meanwhile, Jessi (not Special K) has the great idea for the BSC to stage a Mini Olympics for all the kids, because of course. And it will be held in Dawn and Mary Anne's yard, because of course. Mallory joins in a potato sack race at her house one day, while her brothers and sisters are preparing, and sprains her ankle tripping over a tree stump (is it bad that I immediately wrote "faking it?" in my notes while I was preparing for this post?). But, alas, she does actually sprain her ankle and is on crutches the next few weeks, which includes at the festival.

So, the day of the festival arrives, and classes are suspended for the festivities. The track events are first, then everyone will move over to the Community Center for the swimming events last. Kristy places 2nd in the 100 yard dash, Claudia manages to finish her backwards quarter mile, which is better than most of the contestants, but apparently she doesn't medal. Dawn doesn't medal in the javelin, but has a nice throw anyway. And, the final event of the track portion, the Great SMS Coed Obstacle Challenge, which involves a 50 yard sprint, a long jump over a sand pit, 3 hurdles, a high jump over a bar, zigzagging around traffic cones, stepping through half a dozen tires, and another 50 yard sprint to finish.

Saved by the Bell, anyone?

Anyway, the lead changes between Kristy and Alan with each leg of the race, because they each keep tripping over various obstacles. Kristy starts the final sprint just ahead of Alan, but then he pulls ahead. Kristy, in her competitive rage, somehow finds a burst of speed somewhere deep inside, and she and Alan appear to cross the finish line together. After deliberation, the teachers announce that Kristy won the race. So, Alan now has to be Kristy's servant for a week.

Everyone quickly moves over to the Community Center, where the swimming events commence. Stacey competes in her race, but we don't know the outcome because Jessi is so numbed out due to nerves. They do their group performance, everything is fine, then comes the pairs competition. Jessi and Elise get through their routine, and Jessi remarks that she has no idea how she did. But, of course, the medals are announced, and, come on reader, you read the title of the book, we know Jessi and Elise win gold. Now, I have ranted before about how AMM makes the BSC the best at everything they do, so I will spare you the full force of my thoughts of Jessi, who only practiced synchronized swimming for a few weeks, winning the gold medal. I just don't have the energy to go through that again.

The next day are the Mini Olympics for all the BSC kids, and Kristy, as part of the bet, makes Alan come and set up everything for them - the races, the music, the refreshments, etc. And he has to call Kristy "ma'am". That's about everything worth writing about for this subplot, the kids all get prizes of some sort (like, Most Creative, Most Determined, etc. It's like when I went to some 4H camp while in elementary school, and at the end of the trip, everyone got some type of award, and I got "Most Enthusiastic". Like, wtf, teachers, just say I'm a nerd who couldn't do anything else noteworthy. WAIT. HOLD UP. Am I a real-life Mallory?)

Anyway, Jessi decides not to continue synchronized swimming, because she realizes that she doesn't love it as much as ballet. All the feels.

Olympics Fashion!!

Jessi: "white sweatpants, pink leg warmers, and a pink-and-white sweatshirt that said ABT, which stands for American Ballet Theater" (come on, anyone who has ever watched Center Stage knows that)

Claudia: "At the meeting, for example, she was wearing these sharply creased, pastel green, cuffed shorts; a wild Hawaiian shirt tied at her waist with vibrant colors that perfectly picked up the green; and sandals with crisscrossing ankle straps to her knees. Her hair was swept to one side and held in place with a long, fake flowered barrette that looked like a Hawaiian lei."

Strong Lisa Turtle vibes.

Claudia (Sports Festival): "She was wearing electric-pink track shorts with a turquoise racing stripe, a matching top with cut-off sleeves, brand new high top track shoes with no socks (but why? The blisters...), and floral print suspenders! Her hair was pulled up on top of her head and held in place with a silver barrette in the shape of the Olympic symbol."

Kristy's Mystery Admirer, #38

A little mood music to start us off...

The one in which Kristy has a Lifetime movie style stalker. Ok, cover artist rant time. We see David Michael, Kristy, and Shannon Kilbourne on the cover. Kristy is consistently described as being the shortest person in the entire 8th grade (I'm always thinking, like, 4'11", or maybe 5 feet at most). But here, she is basically the same height as Shannon. Plus, Shannon is always described as having super curly hair, not that shampoo-commercial straight hair she is rocking there. Of course, they always draw Stacey, the queen of the perm, with straight hair as well, maybe they just can't perfect curls.

So, we open at a Krushers vs Bashers game (the softball teams started by Kristy and Bart Taylor, respectively). After the game, Bart offers to walk Kristy home, and we find out that Kristy has a massive crush on Bart. After some very generic 13 year old flirting, Kristy makes it home with little hearts in her eyes. The next day, after school, Kristy gets a call from Shannon, and she tells Special K that she had an envelope in her mailbox with Kristy's name on it. She brings it over, and Kristy sees that it has heart and flower stickers all over it. They rush upstairs to Kristy's room, where they read the enclosed note:

"Dear Kristy, I think you are the nicest girl I know. I would like to go steady with you. I wish I could tell you this in person. Love, your Mystery Admirer"

Special K immediately thinks it is a prank note from her brother, Sam, but Shannon doesn't think so, since it was in her mailbox, and thinks that the note is from Bart. Kristy doesn't think Bart is the type to write notes, though. The next morning, there is another note sitting on her front doorstep.

"Dearest Kristy, I can't stop thinking about you. Maybe I'm in love with you. I don't know. I've never been in love before. You are as beautiful as a snow-covered mountain. Love, your Mystery Admirer"

That day, Kristy brings the two notes to lunch to show the rest of the BSC. While Kristy still thinks this is a prank from Sam, everyone else agrees that it must be Bart. Kristy decides to call Bart that night, to see if he drops any hints, but he says nothing that even hints at the notes. The next afternoon, another one appears in her mailbox.

"Dear Kristy, I love you, I love you, I love you. Love (get the picture?), your Mystery Admirer"

(I can only hear that in Don's voice from Singing in the Rain)

In the midst of all of this, Kristy and Bart decide to have a World Series for their teams. Like, this is kind of ridiculous to me, because these two teams only play each other, and they literally decide to have a World Series. Where they only play each other. Again. Plus, their "World Series" is just one game, instead of, you know, an actual series of games. After the details of the championship game have been decided, Kristy decides to grab the bull by the horns and ask Bart to SMS's upcoming Halloween Hop (not that one. Or that other Halloween). After Bart says yes, Kristy immediately calls Stacey to tell her the good news (this was just weird to me, Kristy and Stacey always seemed like the least close friends of the BSC, why wouldn't Kristy call Mary Anne first, or even Shannon?).

The next day, when Kristy is sharing the news about Bart and the dance with the rest of the BSC at lunch, they notice Cokie Mason, our favorite BSC nemesis, sitting at the next table with her friends, and it is evident that she has been eavesdropping on their conversation. Kristy lowers her voice and they start talking about how Cokie pranked them last Halloween (this happens in Mary Anne's Bad Luck Mystery, which I haven't reviewed yet. Sorry if I just spoiled that one for you). Of course, this again highlights the mysterious Stoneybrook time paradox, because that Halloween also took place in 8th grade, when Stacey was back living in New York, before her parents divorced. Based on the chronology of the books, this may only be the 2nd Halloween of 8th grade. Anyway, I'm sure Cokie's mention here is her only appearance in the book, there is no way she could possibly have anything relative plot points after this...

Anyway, a couple of days later, another note appears on Kristy's front porch.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, but beware. Love is fickle. So are friends. Watch out for your Mystery Admirer."

Kristy immediately calls Shannon, who rushes over to discuss this new development. Shannon no longer thinks Bart is the note writer, since this seems out of character for him (Bart attends the same private school as Shannon). Kristy is no longer sure, and is starting to worry that Bart may be a psycho.

"Violets are blue, blood is red. I'll remember you when you are dead."

"I want to be with you forever - eternal togetherness. So I am coming to get you."

After getting a couple more notes in quick succession, Kristy starts seriously worrying that there is a true psychopath after her. She spaces out at the next BSC meeting and forgets to call it to order at 5:30 (grounds for impeachment? Dereliction of duty?). Kristy tells the BSC about the notes, and tells them that she wants to uninvite Bart to the Hop. They all talk her out of it, because they believe that Bart is innocent and that it would not be fair to him. Later that night, she is discussing her current theory with Shannon, that someone may be trying to kidnap her to get a ransom out of Daddy Watsonbucks. And, Shannon, bless her, immediately points out that a real kidnapper would go after Watson's real kids instead.

Shannon is back to thinking that Bart is writing the notes, but that he is doing so to psyche Kristy out for the upcoming World Series. Which, I mean. Is just one game. That means nothing. Like, no trophies or anything. 

The next day, another note on her front porch.

"Beware. I'm coming sooner than you think. And once I  find you, this is all that will be left of Kristen Amanda Thomas." 

This note includes fingernail clippings in the envelope. Now, Kristy starts to completely panic, and refuses to walk home with Bart anymore, and won't accept his calls. Finally, Bart gets pissed, and shows up at Kristy's house for an explanation. She shows him the notes, and blushing, he admits to writing the first three, non-stalkery notes. He admits that he likes Kristy, and they make up. Kristy thanks him for the notes (she can't bring herself to call them love letters) and tells him that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her. However, the mystery of the later notes still remains.

The day of the World Series arrives, and Kristy notices Cokie and her friends in the bleachers. Cokie approaches Kristy, and Special K starts to brag about her boyfriend, that he's coming to the dance, and how they will be spending their lives together (nope, not a joke, Kristy actually says these things, not Stacey or Mary Anne). Cokie then uses the phrase "eternal togetherness", and Kristy immediately realizes that Cokie is behind the prank notes. She confronts Cokie, who admits it and says that she wanted revenge for "last Halloween," when the BSC humiliated her in front of Logan (I can't wait to read that book again). Kristy says that she is going to tell the whole school what Cokie did, and the mean girls flee in panic. I mean, honestly, I think that story would make Cokie look cooler than Kristy, pulling a prank over on the BSC, I can't see this ruining Cokie's reputation at all. But, this is Stoneybrook, where mean girls always get their due. Plus, I'm sad that we didn't get Cokie falling out of a tree at the game, like the BSC movie.

The day of the dance approaches, and Shannon is trying to help Kristy figure out what to wear. Kristy apparently only owns two dresses, one of which is her bridesmaid's dress, and the other one that she wore to Mary Anne and Dawn's parents' wedding. However, Bart calls at that moment, and says that he found a couple of lobster costumes of his parents in the attic, and asks Kristy if she wants to wear them for the Hop. She immediately agrees, and they end up winning Most Unusual Costume at the dance. Bart kisses Kristy on the cheek in the middle of the dance floor.

After the dance, the BSC has a sleepover at Kristy's house, where they give Shannon all the details of the dance and write their own prank note for Cokie. All is right with the world again.

Halloween Hop:

Kristy with Bart Taylor, dressed as lobsters.

Some Love Actually Nativity play lobsters for you.

Mary Anne with Logan, dressed as a witch and Frankenstein.

Stacey with Kelsey Bauman (yes, that's a guy), just dressed nice.

Claudia with Woody Jefferson, no outfit descriptions.

Mallory with Ben Hobart, Mallory dressed as a clown.

Jessi, no date.

Dawn, no date, dressed as Alice in Wonderland.

Fashion!!!

What Claudia Wore: "Claudia is the most interesting dresser I know. She is always wearing things like Day-Glo high-top sneakers, cut-up jeans, off the shoulder sweatshirts (sometimes torn), and friendship bracelets."

It appears that Brittany Pierce is a fan of the Claudia style, too.

Abby's Un-Valentine, #127

As stated in previous Abby posts, I never read any of hers because I had aged out of the series before she arrived (I say “aged out” like I’m not a 30-something mother of two who is currently reading these for pleasure in 2020).

So, Valentine’s Day approaches in the Brook (nope, not that one). We find out in our standard Chapter 2 bio of the BSC that Mallory is away at boarding school (I seriously need to read the books that lead up to that, because, what the what? What transpired in the Brook to make Mallory voluntarily leave the BSC to go to boarding school? Apparently there was some bullying? And how do the Pikes', with their near baseball team sized family, afford boarding school?). Anyway. So, Mallory, like Dawn, is now an honorary member, and Shannon has been coming to meetings to help fill-in. Abby gives us her family history as well - she has asthma and is allergic to practically everything (milk, shellfish, cat litter - I...I didn't know that last one was possible), while her identical twin sister, Anna, has no allergies whatsoever. They both wear glasses, but Abby tends to use contacts more often. Their favorite movie is The Parent Trap (the Hayley Mills version - this was pre-LiLo), and she states that they used to twin swap when they were younger. I'm sure that won't be significant at all later. Just forget I ever mentioned it.

So, at the BSC meetings, the girls are all discussing the upcoming Valentine's dance. Stacey is going with her 15 year old boyfriend from NYC, Ethan, who apparently is coming to Stoneybrook just for the dance. That guy must not have much of a social life. MA is with Logan, of course, and Claudia is with Josh, her boyfriend from when she was temporarily sent back to the 7th grade. Abby is not feeling the romantic spirit at all, thinks the holiday is lame and reeks of commercialism, and she has no desire to go to the dance, even just with her friends. She goes as far to state that she has no desire for a boyfriend yet (which, to give her credit, is mature for a 13 year old to admit, most girls, even if they weren't ready, would be caving to peer pressure to date at that age). Abs just want to focus on her true love: soccer. As she says, "invented by men, perfected by women". 

Megan Rapinoe approves.

So, cut to school the next day, and Abby is at her locker. Ross Brown, whom we have never heard about and likely never will again, approaches Abby and basically starts to flirt. Abby, clueless, just jokes around with him and goes to English class, where, of course, they are studying Shakespearean sonnets to go with the holiday. All the girls in class are waxing poetic over the poems being about love, while Abby is like, "love being compared to a summer's day means that it is nice, but summer doesn't last forever - you get winter, fall, storms, etc." The teacher rolls her eyes, while I'm over here secretly impressed at that. Ross, who is also in the class, speaks up to agree with Abby, and keeps doing so no matter what comment she makes in class (we can all see where this is going, right?). He continues to flirt between classes, then eventually asks her to the dance. Abby's response? "No". Short and simple, to the point.

At the next BSC meeting, when Abby shares her story, the girls (meaning Stacey, Claudia, and Mary Anne) immediately start getting on to her, saying that she should have said yes, even if she didn't like him like that, just to give him a chance, and she may change her mind (seriously, how many guys did we waste time on based on trash advice like this from our friends?). Abby repeats that she is not interested and won't be going to the dance, frustrated that no one is backing her up. Even back at home, she is not getting much support. Anna, who is depressed that she doesn't have a date to the dance, also thinks that Abby should give Ross a chance, because she thinks he is cute (*cough* foreshadowing *cough*). Abby goes over to Kristy's house on Saturday, even though they aren't close (Abs thinks Special K is too bossy), because Kristy is the only one not acting sappy about V Day. Kristy tells Abby about how she used to date Bart, but how she broke up with him when she realized that she only dated him because she felt pressure to be more like Mary Anne and Logan, and how she regrets that it ruined her friendship with Bart. She tells Abby to keep standing firm in her convictions, that she is doing the right thing. One of the few times I agree with Kristy over the rest of the BSC, mad respect.

At school on Monday, Abby finds a carnation on the floor leaning against her locker, with a poem attached:

"Although she cannot the sound of music hear, her name is music unto mine ear. And if roses make her sneeze, perhaps this carnation will then please. For Abby and the flowers are one, but she is the fairest flower under the sun."

Abby sneezes and shoves it into her locker. Ross continues to leave her gifts, including a book of New Yorker cartoons (just random for a 13 year old?). About this time, Abby has the realization that Ross fell for the wrong twin, that he has much more in common with Anna, but he still keeps pursuing her, even when she keeps saying no. At the next BSC meeting, when Abby is complaining about the whole situation, Stacey smugly tells Abby that she told Ross to buy the cartoons because she knew Abby liked them. Abs. Is. Furious. and asks Stacey why she would do that when Abby has made it clear that she doesn't like Ross. Stacey says that Abby is being ridiculous and should basically go out with anyone who asks. And that sets it off. I quote:

A: "I would never, ever, ever go out with someone just for the sake of going out with someone. I'll never be that desperate and dishonest."

Claudia and Stacey, furious. S: "Are you saying I do that?"

A: "If the shoe fits."

I can only hear that in Daveed Diggs' voice now.

Thankfully, the clock strikes six, and Abby escapes hastily. On the way home with Kristy, Abby asks K's brother Charlie's advice. Charlie says she should be completely clear with Ross and give back all the gifts she got, that way there would be no confusion. Abby decides to invite Ross over to her house for the Talk, but due to series of slapstick coincidences (Anna wears Abby's favorite shirt, Abby is wearing glasses instead of her usual contacts, yada, yada, yada), Ross walks in and immediately thinks that Anna is Abby. Neither correct him right away, and Anna and Ross immediately hit it off, talking about their mutual love of classical music (Anna plays violin). Ross gets pissed when he finds out they switched on him, but Abby and Anna apologize and Ross ends up asking Anna to the dance.

The next BSC meeting, Abby apologizes for snapping at the club (although it was very deserved), and Claudia, Stacey, and Mary Anne apologize for not listening to Abby in the first place. The day of the dance comes, and Abby decides to go out with Kristy for pizza and a horror movie (honestly, that sounds way more fun than a middle school dance to me, sign me up). 

Valentine’s Fashion!!

What Claudia wore: “Today she was dressed in ski-lodge mode. That meant a woolly sweater, long black tights with thick blue socks, and hiking boots. But those weren’t just any hiking boots - they were tied with little snowflakes on the ends. They’d also been decorated - by Claudia - with a motif of snow-capped mountains running along the outside of each boot. Claudia’s sweater was blue, white, and gray with a snowflake-patterned yoke. (What the hell is a yoke?) It was enormous, stretching almost to her knees. Her hair was pulled back in a long French braid. From one ear dangled a silver earring in the shape of a pair of crossed skis, and from the other ear a small silver polar bear.”

Stacey: “For today she was wearing a short dark brown leather skirt over pale stockings. She had on these cool boots that came to just above her knees. Her sweater was the color of butter, and it looked unbelievably soft. There were three pearl buttons at the collar, Stacey had left two of them unbuttoned. Her blonde hair was pulled into a French braid, and she was wearing what looked like real pearl earrings.”

Very Sabrina Spellman.