Babysitters On Board!, Super Special #1

The Super Special that started it all....(by the way, Stacey looks weird on this cover, it seems the cover artists can never consistently figure out how she is supposed to look).

So, this takes place in the summer between 7th and 8th grade (you know, when time still moved in a linear fashion in Stoneybrook). Mr. Pike wins a contest at work (before he was laid off, anyway), and the prize is an all expenses paid vacation for his family (dang, that's expensive, with 8 kids...). The vacation includes a four day cruise around the Bahamas, and then three days at Disney World (yeah, Disney World with 8 kids, I bet his company is bankrupt after paying for this one.) The Pikes ask Stacey and Mary Anne to come along as mother's helpers (like they do in the Sea City books, which I haven't gotten to yet, sorry, this is what you get when you read out of order). Kristy is jealous of Stacey and Mary Anne getting to go on this trip, and when Watson finds out that Kristy has never even left the state of Connecticut, he decides to take the Thomas-Brewer clan on the same trip. Plus, he invites Dawn and Claudia, so they won't be the only BSCers left behind in the 'Brook (but they aren't babysitting on this trip, just coming as Kristy's guests. Sam and Charlie kind of get the shaft on these vacations, they never get to invite friends along).

Kristy - So this trip is Kristy's first time leaving Connecticut, her first plane ride, basically, a big time for Special K. Kristy is rooming with Claudia and Dawn while on the cruise ship, the Ocean Princess, and continually clashes with Dawn while on the cruise (basically, Kristy is a slob, and Dawn is neat freak. Surprisingly, even though Claudia is super-overpacker, they don't seem to have a problem with her in their room...). Kristy even deliberately leaves food wrappers and stuff laying around to antagonize Dawn (Claudia accuses her of "goating" Dawn. Oh, sweetie...). Plus, she insists on having BSC meetings every day of the trip, which exhausts MA and Stacey, since they are actually sitting on this trip (unlike Kristy, Dawn, and Claudia, who are basically getting a free vacation). However, Kristy starts to lighten up after befriending an older gentleman, named Rudy Staples, while at the pool. Mr. Staples' wife recently passed away, and he's all grumpy and depressed, just the crotchety old guy, and Kristy spends time with him, playing Ping Pong and inviting him to eat dinner with her family. While I think this is super sweet and all, I do wonder at Watson and Elizabeth letting Kristy hang out with the random, solitary old dude on the cruise ship, seems like this is how a lot of the "America's Most Wanted" stories start out... Anyway, good old Rudy cheers up, and he and Kristy become pen pals after the trip. So much feels...

Mary Anne - MA is along as a mother's helper for the Pike family, and she is rooming with Mallory and Vanessa Pike (this is before Mallory is a member of the club). On the first day of the cruise, Mary Anne meets Alexandra Carmody, a glamorous, sophisticated girl of mysterious origins. She alternately tells MA that she is an actress, an orphan, and the niece of a countess. Mary Anne is dazzled (not to mention extremely gullible). However, after Mallory tells Mary Anne that she spotted Alexandra at Disney World with her parents and brother, MA is furious, and confronts Alexandra at the hotel that night, basically calling her a lying whore (ok, maybe didn't use those words, but that would have been epic). Alexandra apologizes and tells MA that she lies because her parents are this famous married couple singing act (fictional Captain and Tennille!!! Score!!!) and she feels like she has to make up stories to distance herself from her parents (umm...has this girl already had therapy?). Alexandra gives MA her address, but Mary Anne decides not to write her, just can't deal with the drama.

Claudia - While not playing referee to Kristy and Dawn on the cruise, Claudia spends her time exploring the ship. While at breakfast on the cruise ship, someone mysteriously pays for Claudia's meal and sends her a note telling her it's courtesy of her "secret admirer." The whole rest of the cruise, like when they dock for a day trip in Nassau, Claudia keeps getting expensive gifts (like mother of pearl earrings, sheesh) and getting her meals and activities (like an aquarium ticket) paid for by this "secret admirer." She finally thinks she has caught him leaving the ice cream parlor one day, but when she stops a random guy outside to see if he saw anything, she meets Tim, and becomes buddy-buddy with him (you can see where this is going, right?). She and Tim make plans to spend a day together at Disney World, all the while she keeps getting gifts and notes from her mystery guy. Finally, while at the parade the last night at Disney, Tim confesses that he was the secret admirer, plus we find out that he is also Alexandra Carmody's brother, too (Claudia, might want to hang on to this one, he's got money). Anyway, they exchange letters after the trip, and then he is never mentioned again (maybe he got turned off by her atrocious spelling, hee hee).

Dawn - When Dawn is not fighting with Kristy about the cleanliness of the cruise ship/hotel room (seriously, girl has a complex, she even takes a few hours one day when Kristy is out having fun to clean the room. Issues...), she is exploring the ship and all it has to offer. Dawn sees a really cute guy when they first board the Ocean Princess, and she ends up meeting him the next day. Her vacay crush, Parker Harris, enters the ship's Ping Pong tournament with Dawn, where they beat Kristy and Mr. Staples to win it all. They have a romantic walk on the beach in Nassau, and they also plan to spend the first day at Disney World together (by the way, Dawn is super excited about Disney World, but since she has been to Disneyland so many times, this seems a bit unrealistic). Claudia helps Dawn choose her Disney date outfit, and Dawn wears her own antique heirloom gold bracelet. While at Disney, Parker buys her a unicorn charm to go on her bracelet, and she is sublimely happy (to quote Cher Horowitz). She almost gets sick on Space Mountain (apparently the one on Disney World is much better than the Disneyland version), but she manages to hold it together (we wouldn't want the carnival scene from "The Sandlot," would we?). However, at the end of the day, tragedy strikes - Dawn realizes that she has lost her bracelet somewhere in the park. However, because this is AMM's Stoneybrook fantasy universe, the Pike triplets manage to find the bracelet the next day at Disney (there is this whole subplot about the triplets hunting for buried treasure, pretty lame), and Dawn is sublimely happy again.

Stacey - One of the few Super Specials where Stacey doesn't fall in "LUV." Stacey is also a mother's helper for the Pike family, and while she is walking around the ship with Claire and Margo, she meets Marc, a 7 year old boy in a wheelchair. He explains that he can walk, but has major heart problems and can't overexert himself. His parents have taken the family on this once-in-a-lifetime vacation because Marc is having experimental heart surgery later that summer, and the doctor has given them no guarantees that Marc will even survive the procedure. Stacey feels heartbroken, and spends time with Marc on the cruise (she takes him, along with Claire and Margo, to the arcade and ice cream parlor), plus spends a day at Epcot with Marc and his family (so much for babysitting the Pikes...). She and Marc's family exchange addresses (because the whole pen pal thing is huge with the BSC), and Stacey later learns that Marc's surgery was successful, and that he is now allowed to frolic and play. Yay for happy endings.

Mallory - Mallory does this really boring thing where she decides to play "Harriet the Spy," and walks around the whole vacation with a notebook. She thinks she sees a famous rock star named Spider (wonder if AMM got her inspiration from Flea?), who is a part of the band The Insects (can't make this up. Well, I guess AMM could make this up). It turns out that it's not Spider (dashing Claudia's hopes, because she wanted Spider to be her secret admirer, cause...yeah...). Plus, she thinks she sees a stowaway, but it turns out to be Tim, Claudia's actual secret admirer. To give Mal credit, she is the one who discovers that Alexandra Carmody is a lying whore, I mean, overly dramatic. The most shocking thing about Mal's story line is that her parents decide that she is mature enough to wander around Disney World by herself. What the...? That's negligent parenting, Mr. and Mrs. Pike. In what world is an 11 year old girl mature enough to walk around Disney World without supervision? Haven't they ever watched "Unsolved Mysteries?" Seriously...


Fashion on Board!!

What Claudia Wore (Nassau edition): "I put on my new blue-and-white bikini and over that, a pink sundress with spaghetti straps at the shoulders and big blue buttons down the front. Then I accessorized. I tied a pink and blue scarf around my waist, knotting it in the middle, added my snake bracelet and feather earrings, wound my hair up on top of my head, and finally put on these white sandals with long laces that you crisscross up your legs and tie in a bow."

What Dawn Wore (Disney World edition): "This is the outfit Claudia helped me choose: a white tank top under lavender overalls, lavender push down socks, lavender high tops, and a beaded Indian belt, which we looped droopily twice around my middle. In my hair we put lavender and white clips that looked like birds."

Very young Carrie Bradshaw (of course, you need to reverse the color combo to get the full effect)

Shannon's Story: Special Edition (Reader's Request)

Ok, who else had that sweater Shannon is wearing on the cover? I know I totally wore that in middle school, good times.

So, this is the one where we are supposed to learn that all that glitters is not gold, or basically, that Shannon's life isn't so perfect. Sorry, AMM, I'm not convinced, can the readers request a mulligan on this one? I guess the least I can do is break it down for you and let you decide if we should feel sorry for Miss Shannon Kilbourne.

Shannon attends Stoneybrook Day School, aka the rich kid private school. Her best friends are Meg Jardin and Greer Carson (sounds like a Real Housewife's name or something. I would totally watch a "Real Housewives of Stoneybrook," that would be epic), and they all just adore school. Seriously. They are all taking advanced French, and the school is sponsoring a big class trip to Paris for a week at the end of the school year. In order to be allowed on the trip, one must have a B average overall and at least an 85 in French, which Shannon is, of course, nailing. Plus, this takes place on one of Dawn's extended stays in Cali, so we actually see Shannon attending some BSC meetings in this one.

However, Shannon's home life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Her dad is a lawyer, works crazy hours, and is rarely home. What's with all the dads being lawyers? Stacey's dad is a lawyer, in fact his work schedule is one of the reasons her parents got divorced, Mallory's dad is a lawyer (at least before he got laid off), and Mary Anne's dad is a lawyer. How many law firms does Stoneybrook have? Anyway, Shannon's mom is a housewife (not a Real one, more like a Desperate one) who is pretty spacey and bored with life, and her two younger sisters, Tiffany and Maria, are also Stepford kids who are good students and super involved in school activities and hobbies. Mrs. Kilbourne starts getting clingy with Shannon, or "Shanny" as she likes to call her, constantly babying her and hovering around her at home. Her mom even buys matching Laura Ashley dresses for herself and Shannon, which annoys the crap out of Shanny Shan (seriously, she acts like an entitled brat in this one). Aww...remember the floral awesomeness of 1980s Laura Ashley dresses?

Just add some Sam & Libby's and you're all set. Like this one? Buy it here.

Shannon starts getting more and more annoyed with her mom, especially when Mrs. Kilbourne interrupts a BSC hangout at Kristy's house and calls her "Shanny" in front of the girls. Seriously, Shannon? Of all the childhood nicknames out there, you are embarrassed by "Shanny"? One of my mom's favorite nicknames for me was "Tootie," so count your blessings, girl. Shannon begrudgingly gets her mom a gift for Mother's Day, but then feels sorry for her when her dad forgets all about it. He comes in that night (because yes, he worked on Sunday), and brings Mrs. Kilbourne a bouquet of flowers and a card that reads "Happy Birthday." Methinks you will be sleeping on the couch tonight, Mr. K. However, any goodwill Shannon had toward her mother disappear when she finds out the Mrs. Kilbourne has been asked to be a replacement chaperone on the Paris trip. Shannon is so pissed off by the thought of going to Paris with *gasp* her mother that she deliberately fails her French final so that her grade will be too low to go on the trip. Ooh, I really wanted to slap the girl here.  Instead of actually talking to her mom, she just tanks her grades. For a smart girl, she's freakin' stupid. Anyway, Mrs. Kilbourne goes on the trip without Shannon, and Shannon has to keep control of the house while she's gone. Shannon has the major epiphany about why her mom has been so clingy, because she realizes how easy being a housewife is (of course it's easy when you have a maid and grocery delivery, sweetie. Now shut up before I slap the entitled right out of you). When her mom gets back from Paris, Shannon and her mom have a heart to heart, and Mrs. Kilbourne says that she is going to get a job so that she can get out of the house more. And somehow Mr. Kilbourne realizes that he has been a bad husband and mends his ways. Cause this is "Leave it to Beaver" in the 'Brook.

Oh, and there was this subplot about the BSC organizing a mother-child softball game for Mother's Day, but it was pretty lame (in fact, I'm bored even typing this sentence). So yeah, this book was hard to get through, I think Shannon might be my least favorite now.

Fashion: Special Edition!!!

What Stacey wore: "For example, today Stacey looked ultra-city in black: black leggings, a black sweater, a big black belt with an oversized buckle, black Doc Martens, and her hair pulled back with a black and gold scarf that picked up the gold of the gold chain earrings she was wearing."

What Claudia wore: "Claudia was beyond the city, maybe into outer space and looking outrageous, artistically terrific: an enormous pair of pants help up with neon purple suspenders, an enormous purple t-shirt over a tie-dyed long-underwear top, her long black hair pulled back into a braid clipped at intervals with little kid barrettes, and these dangly peace sign earrings."

Stacey McGill...Matchmaker? #124

Upon seeing this cover, all I could think was, "Stacey's mom has got it going on." And now that song is stuck in my head (and yours too, probably. You're welcome). And check out Maureen rocking that pencil skirt, very nice (my two cents, this would have looked better with some killer black heels, but hey, sometimes comfort trumps style...)

So this one opens with Stacey and her mom having a little family book club, and this week's selection is "Pride and Prejudice" (oh, and Colin Firth will forever be Mr. Darcy, sorry Matthew Macfayden). First of all, props to Stacey's mom (hee hee), ok, Mrs. McGill, for making Stacey read Jane Austen in 8th grade, I don't think I really picked those up and fell in love with everything Austen until late high school or early college. Stacey does indicate that she is really enjoying the novel (if she didn't, she would forever become my least favorite BSCer). Anyway, Stacey and Mrs. McGill get into this deep discussion about women marrying for money (in the novel and in real life) and then segue into a heart to heart about her parents' divorce, which is somewhat nice to see (plus, you know AMM loves to throw an after-school special-type of PSA every now and then). Stacey does ask if her mom will ever start dating (umm...a little personal, Stace. Your parents got divorced early in your 8th grade year, this takes place just before Thanksgiving, so your mom has been divorced for either a couple of months now...or since this is the revolving, never-ending school year, about 10 years, in which case, that is a valid question, Stace). Her dad does have a girlfriend, Samantha, and Stacey thinks her mom should be ready, too. You can't hurry love, Stacey, you'll just have to wait (so says Diana Ross, anyway).

Anyway, Stacey hurries to the BSC meeting, where a brand new client calls at 5:27 (which pisses Kristy off, that girl has a complex). The client's name is John Brooke (Little Women shout out!!!), who is a single father and needs a sitter for his son and daughter (unfortunately, their names aren't Daisy and Demi, rather Jodi and Ewan. Shucks...). Stacey gets the job, and then the girls get to gossiping. Claudia is now back in 8th grade, and Mallory is complaining about being bullied in school (again). Apparently, SMS recently did a week long program where students got to teach the classes (remember when Saved by the Bell did that?), and Mallory got selected to teach 8th grade English. Umm...why would you have a 6th grader teaching an 8th grade class? That's just asking for trouble. Ever since then, kids have continually teased Mal in the hallways, calling her "Spaz" and stuff. Basically, Mallory hates everything about school and has been looking into transferring to a private school, like Stoneybrook Day, Shannon's school, but that is too expensive. Plus, Mallory announces that she and her parents will be visiting a boarding school this coming weekend (Hogwarts, maybe? I mean, she is 11 years old. Mallory would totally be Hufflepuff). The BSC is shocked, but supportive.

Anyway, Stacey shows up for her sitting job for the Brooke kids, and is surprised to find John Brooke will actually be home the entire time. It turns out that he is a writer of detective novels (Momma Brooke left to go be a newscaster in the ATL), and he needs a sitter so that he can stay in his study and write. Stacey rolls with it, and really enjoys spending time with Jodi and Ewan. After her job is over, Mrs. McGill stops by to pick up Stacey (has this ever happened? I never remember reading about parents coming to pick up the girls from the sitting jobs before, usually they either ride their bikes home or the clients drive them home). Upon seeing Maureen at the door, John Brooke is all, "Stacey's mom has got it going on" and gets his game on. Maureen lingers, flirting back, and eventually agrees to go on a date with John (he's taking her to see a play that he wrote - pretentious much, John?)



Stacey is extremely excited about this date, however Jodi and Ewan are rather upset, they think that their dad and Mrs. McGill will get married and they will have a wicked stepmother. The next time Stacey babysits for the Brookes, John mentions to Stacey that he thinks Maureen is "luminous" (ok, not sure why someone would tell his girlfriend's 13 year old daughter that, but hey, it's a great compliment, at least). However, Jodi and Ewan go from being angelic charges to little hellions, Jodi especially. She breaks into his study and steals his computer mouse, then throws it into a tree. Jodi also gets on his computer and deletes an entire chapter of his book. And John gets crazy angry - not understandable levels of anger, we're talking crazy-scary-this-guy-may-be-the-BTK-killer-next-door type angry. Stacey feels a little scared by his outburst, but once he calms down, she dismisses it as normal levels of anger. Maureen, however, doesn't ignore her woman's intuition. She notices that John consistently shows up either inconveniently early (like 11:30 am for Thanksgiving dinner) or really late. She is concerned about how he treats his kids, his thoughtlessness (doesn't offer to help with Thanksgiving dinner), and the worldviews he expresses in his books. Basically, she thinks he is a self-centered douchebag. Stacey tries to convince her mom that John is her "Mr. Darcy," but mamma knows best, sweetie, Maureen knows he is more of a Wickham. Even Stacey's boyfriend, Ethan, tells her to get over herself and support her mom. Finally, Stacey accepts the breakup, and tells Jodi and Ewan (who were upset because they thought the breakup was their fault) that she considers them her "honorary brother and sister" (umm...awkward much? Think John will want the daughter of the woman who dumped him still showing up to hang out with his kids?). And we never hear about the Brooke family again. Convenient, AMM.

Fashion in the house!!!

What Claudia wore: "Claudia pushed her hair back to reveal a pair of long, shiny earrings dotted with small clay beads. Then she drew out a long beaded necklace, which had fallen beneath the bib of her tie-dyed overalls."

House of Holland, Spring 2013 Collection. Claudia is back in style, y'all.

The Summer Before: BSC Prequel

No lie, my adult self was totally stoked when I found out that AMM was releasing a prequel to the BSC series, so lots of anticipation with this one. Hopefully it doesn't let me down like Star Wars: The Phantom of the Menace (I'm looking at you, Jar-Jar Binks...).

This book starts the last day of 6th grade at SMS/New York City, and the chapters are alternately narrated by Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey. Obviously, Kristy's, MA's, and Claudia's stories are intertwined, and the book ends with the great idea. Let's get it started (HAH!), let's get it started in here!!!

Kristy - After school ends, Kristy goes home and finds her mother getting ready for a date with Watson Brewer (he's taking her to Chez Maurice, home of the most dibble French food ever). Kristy is huffy to see Watson at her house, so she decides to write her dad at his last address in California, telling him about school ending, Claudia's crazy outfits, and her upcoming birthday, dropping some pretty substantial hints that she would like him to come visit for her birthday. However, about a week later, the letter is returned as undeliverable, which means that the phantom Mr. Thomas has moved again and not told the kids where he was. Plus, Watson starts spending more time at their house, further depressing Kristy. He asks Kristy to babysit for Karen and Andrew, but she refuses, so Sam volunteers. What the...? I absolutely cannot imagine Sam babysitting voluntarily, just...bizarre. Kristy feels like her night has been ruined by Watson and his perfect dad skills. She decides the best way to distract herself is to get Mary Anne into babysitting, and she encourages MA to take charge and be assertive for the first time in her life (aww...). She goes to Claudia's birthday party with Mary Anne, and they spend the whole time swimming and avoiding the boys. However, after seeing how grown up Claudia's party was, Kristy decides to not have a sleepover, and just do a family dinner instead. Kristy invites MA and Claudia to her dinner, but Claudia has other plans, and Kristy feels snubbed. Kristy keeps up her irrational hope that her father will show up for her birthday, and as she blows out the candles on her cake, she looks around her backyard for him. He's not there, of course, and Kristy is upset, but doesn't let her mother know. Mary Anne gives her a hug and sits beside her the rest of the night, just being her friend (another aww...). Kristy ends the summer older and wiser, knowing who her true family is. 

Mary Anne - This summer starts out the same as the previous one, with Mr. Spier picking out Mary Anne's outfits everyday and leaving a long list of rules (for instance, Mary Anne must call Mr. Spier at work by 9:30am). She hates her bedroom, which has been painted pink for ages, because her favorite colors are navy blue and yellow (personally, I always pictured MA as a pink, flowery girl, even in later books. Interesting). However, as she is digging around in her attic one day, she comes across a box filled with some of her mom's old stuff, including a couple of dolls. She decides that even though she doesn't want to play with them, she would like to make them some new outfits. Kristy suggests that they ask Claudia for help, since she is the queen of fashion. However, when they show up at Claudia's house with the dolls, Claud tries to hide her horror and quickly jumps at the chance to go downtown with Mimi. Mary Anne feels a little hurt, but decides to make some new doll clothes herself as best as she can. Then Kristy delivers the game changer. She calls and asks Mary Anne to help her babysit the Pikes (those blue-eyed and dark haired kids - even the prequel is lacking in consistency, AMM). Mary Anne has never babysat before, and is super nervous. She asks Mr. Spier for permission, and he promptly tells her that she is too young. Mary Anne counters with the fact that Kristy and Claudia both babysit, and Mr. Spier finally agrees, with stipulations. Mary Anne must always babysit with another sitter, never by herself, even if she is only sitting for one kid, and she must call and check in with her dad every half hour (I'm sure the parents of the kids she's sitting for will wonder why the babysitter is on the phone so much when they get that phone bill, way to make your daughter look responsible, Richard). However, the sitting job goes fine, and Mary Anne realizes that she loves babysitting. MA also has her birthday coming up, and when her dad asks what she wants, she lists "craft kits, doll design clothes set, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and a hamster" - however, after attending Claudia's grown up pool party, she decides that she doesn't want to do a birthday party. A few days later, MA gets a phone call from Mrs. Newton, asking her to babysit for Jamie for a couple of hours. Kristy is unable help MA, so she calls Claudia to come be her joint-babysitter (Mr. Spier's rules, after all). Claud is hesitant, but decides to help her anyway. Mrs. Newton is understandably shocked when two sitters show up, but MA explains her dad's rules and assures her that she will only pay for one and that it will be split between the two girls. Mrs. Newton rolls with it, because this is Stoneybrook, after all. Later on, as a surprise for Kristy's birthday, Mary Anne organizes "Kristy Day," in which several neighborhood kids, plus several of their friends (Mariah and Miranda Shillabar, Lauren Hoffman, girls we never hear about again) show up and have a parade down Bradford Court for Kristy. Mr. Spier finds about this, and decides that Mary Anne is responsible enough to sit on her own now. But still not responsible enough to wear blue jeans to school. Wish I was kidding, y'all.

Claudia - Claudia is looking forward to her twelfth birthday this summer, and decides that instead of the slumber party she usually has, she would rather have a boy-girl pool party. Her neighbors, the Goldmans, offer to let the Kishis use their pool (what the...? No way I would let a bunch of 12 year olds have a pool party at my house if one of the kids wasn't mine, just seems weird). The Kishis agree, and Claudia excitedly makes a list of who she wants to invite: Emily Bernstein, Pete Black, Rick Chow, Dorianne Wallingford, Darnell Harris (never heard this name before), and Polly Hanson. She debates about inviting Kristy and Mary Anne, since they have grown apart, but she quickly realizes that she can't leave out her oldest friends. Janine, Miss "School is my world, math feeds my soul" (reminds me of how Ashley Wyeth felt about her art), also gets to invite a few of her friends. The day of the party arrives, and everyone shows up as expected. Claudia is a little embarrassed by Kristy and Mary Anne, so she spends most of her time talking with her other friends. Then one of Janine's friends, Frankie Evans, arrives, and Claudia is instantly in love. Frankie is 14 and will be a freshman at SHS with Janine. Surprisingly (wait, this is Stoneybrook, so no big surprise, I guess), Frankie seems just as taken with 12 year old Claudia, and spends most of the party flirting with her, much to Janine's displeasure (apparently big sister has a crush, too). Janine tries to get Frankie's attention away from Claudia, and ends up falling in the pool with all of her clothes on (I can neither confirm nor deny that I may have an incident like that in my past). After the party is over, Frankie gets Claudia's number, and a summer romance is born. Claudia starts spending all her time with Frankie, never having time for Kristy and Mary Anne. Frankie comes over to Claudia's house to see her art (sorry, that just sounds like a phony, make-out excuse), and Mrs. Kishi flips out when Claudia takes Frankie to her room. Claudia has to leave the door open, and Mrs. Kishi stays upstairs as well, "folding laundry." Needless to say, Janine gets more and more huffy, and Mr. and Mrs. Kishi, as well as Mimi, get more and more concerned. Claudia even misses Kristy's birthday dinner in August because she already had a date with Frankie planned (she does send Kristy a nail polish kit as a gift, which is kind of funny). Likewise, she misses "Kristy Day" for the same reason. However, towards the end of the summer, things start to go awry. Claudia goes to the community pool one day with Frankie, and they meet up with a bunch of his high school friends. He basically ignores Claudia once they get there, and the girls get all snarky with Claud. Frankie gets all shady with Claudia, and eventually gives her the "we're in different places right now" brush-off. Claudia is crushed, and she realizes that she has missed Kristy and Mary Anne this summer. Nothing can beat old friends in a time of crisis...unless it's new friends...

Stacey - It's summer in NYC, and Stacey is currently fighting with Her Royal Meanness (Stacey's words), aka Laine Cummings, aka Snotty McSnotterson (that one's mine). Stacey was diagnosed with diabetes this past fall, and she and her parents have been keeping it on the down low, even from the Cummings family. However, Stacey's problems with La Loser started even before that, since the summer before the 6th grade (which is the summer before The Summer Before, is your mind blown?). Laine had gone away to a month-long summer camp in Maine, and when she came back, she started getting all shady with Stacey, avoiding her calls, not saving her a seat at lunch.

However, the friendship struggled along in name, at least, until a sleepover in 6th grade. Stacey and Laine were sharing a bed at a friend's house, and as a result of her diabetes, Stacey wet the bed. Of course, this would seem a logical time to tell your BFF about your diabetes, but no, she doesn't say anything, and Stacey instantly becomes the pariah at her school. When she finds out that they will be moving to Stoneybrook over the summer, Stacey is actually relieved that she can leave the city and the Snot behind her. She continues to babysit in her apartment building, and right before the move, her parents decide to throw her a surprise farewell party, inviting her babysitting charges, the Cummings, and several of her 6th grade classmates. Laine goes ultimate Mean Girl at the party, and tells Stacey (out of earshot of the adults, of course) that she only came to the party because her parents made her, and that the other girls only came to the party because she made them. Retract those claws, Regina George. The girls then proceed to tease Stacey non-stop about the time she wet the bed, and then Laine proceeds to "accidentally" spill her drink on Stacey's outfit.



Needless to say, Stacey wakes up extremely happy on moving day, just so filled with joy of getting away from McSnotterson. She falls asleep on the car ride, and her parents wake her up as they arrive in Stoneybrook. She is all shocked to see that the 'Brook has restaurants, department stores, and businesses (ok...has this girl never left NYC, never driven anywhere on vacation? This is just a little ridiculous, AMM). Plus, all of the neighbors around the McGills bring them food to welcome them, and Stace remarks how friendly people are here, "just like in the city." Umm...what? Granted, I've never been to NYC, but something tells me that when you move into a new apartment, you don't get casseroles and pies from your neighbors there. I'm not picking up what you're putting down there, AMM. Anyway, the first day of 7th grade arrives, and her student guide is Emily Bernstein (Miss anti-Spirit). Stacey sits with Emily and her friends, including Claudia, at lunch, and is impressed with Claudia's "sophisticated" style. And it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship...

The Fashion Before!!!

What Claudia Wore: "Claudia was wearing willowy black pants, cinched at the waist with a drawstring, and a boldly patterned summer shirt with ties that she was adjusting around her midriff. Her midriff would have been bare, but Claud had slithered into a lacy black tank top before she'd put on the shirt. On her feet were delicate silvery sandals, and her hair, which was loooong and thick, was held away from her face with two silver combs."

What Claudia Wore (pool party edition): "I was wearing a bikini with silver jewelry, hair combs, silver sandals, and a shirt that I got for my birthday." (She thinks she looks at least 14)

I'm feeling some Naomi Clark from 90210 (the new version) in this one...

What Claudia Wore (1st day of 7th grade): "Claudia was by far the most fashionable dresser I had seen at school, with her big earrings and chunky bracelet, her bell bottoms (which I was sure she had decorated herself), and her fluorescent green hat that looked like a bejeweled engineer's cap."

What Mary Anne Wore: "Mary Anne was dressed in a blouse, floral capri pants, and sandals."

What Mary Anne and Kristy Wore (pool party edition): last year's bathing suits, Mary Anne's had a mermaid on it

Claudia Kishi, Middle School Dropout, #101

The one where Claudia's bad grades in school finally catch up to her...and so starts a dark time in the 'Brook...

So once again, we are in October of 8th grade, one that is falling in the post-Dawn Abby era. Claudia is struggling with math (and science, and English...etc). She is trying to figure out her protractor ("it had such a friendly rainbow shape, but it wasn't friendly at all"). To be fair to Claud, even though I did fairly well in math, I don't think I could tell you how to use a protractor now. Fortunately, Stacey calls to gossip about the Halloween dance (no, not that one), so Claudia can forget about her homework woes. Stacey asks Claudia about her costume for the dance, and they gossip merrily along for several minutes. However, all good things must come to an end, and Claudia attempts to figure out her homework again. In the meantime, she tells us (or thinks to herself, whatever) that she has been tested for a learning disability, but the results were normal, in fact, she actually had a pretty high IQ (just not the 196 of Janine the Genius). I think her problems in school would have been more believable if she had dyslexia or something.

The next day in class, her math teacher, Mr. Schubert (what happened to Mr. Zorzi?), gives a quiz on the material, and Claudia feels completely confused. The students have to pass their quizzes to the next student on the right to be graded (what?!? I remember doing this once or twice on a vocab test in 6th grade, but a math quiz? Just seems more like something the teacher would want to grade to be able to accurately judge the progress of the his/her students. I'm not buying this, AMM). Anyway, Claudia gets, like, a 45 or something, and Mr. Schubert suggests that she gets a tutor. The Kishis find a friend of Janine's, a girl named Rosa, to help Claudia with her schoolwork, and Claudia starts to understand math with Rosa's help.

Meanwhile, in art class, Claudia sees a flyer announcing that Serena McKay, one of the most renowned artists in the country, is teaching a "master class for accomplished amateur artists" at Stoneybrook Community College. Wow, it seems the 'Brook is a mecca for the cultural elite, think about it: Hollywood directors, best-selling authors, and now a famous artist. The class is only open for 15 students, and you have to submit a portfolio to be considered. Claudia submits her work, and gets accepted to the class, which will take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6pm (gotta love how these special classes/lessons to which these girls get accepted never interfere with the BSC meetings...). Claudia shows up for her first class, and she discovers that she is the youngest person accepted, that everyone else is either in college or an adult. However, the more the teacher and other students praise her work, the more confident Claudia feels that she deserves to be there, and she looks forward to the art show at the end of the class.

It turns out that art class is the only bright spot for Claudia, though. Even though she understands the material when she is working with Rosa, she still feels helplessly lost whenever she is at school. When she gets a 58 on her next math test, the principal (good old Mr. Kingbridge) calls Claudia and her parents in for a meeting. At the meeting, Mr. Kingbridge informs the Kishis that they believe that Claudia is struggling too much with her 8th grade curriculum, and have decided that she needs to repeat the 7th grade. Effective Monday. What the...? Is that even legal? I mean, would a school force a kid back to a previous grade in the middle of the school year? I've never heard of that happening, it seems more likely that they would just let her flunk out and repeat the same year (in this case, 8th grade) over the next school year. Would they really make her repeat a grade she has already passed? Isn't that what remedial classes are for? This just seems really asinine, AMM, not buying it at all. Anyway, somehow the Kishis don't threaten to sue the Board of Education and instead accept this as the only option available. Understandably, Claudia has a meltdown at the BSC meeting that afternoon. To give the girls credit, they assure Claud that this changes nothing and they will stand by her regardless (of course, they don't want to risk losing their club headquarters, either. Yes, that's me being snarky and mean...).

On Sunday night Claudia has a nightmare that she goes to school and is invisible to Stacey, the teachers, and all of the students, because she is no longer in 8th grade. She feels really lonely on Monday, and has no one to sit with at lunch (remember, SMS does a separate lunch period for each grade). Ok, I get missing your friends, but I don't buy her not knowing a single person in 7th grade. She grew up in Stoneybrook, and has been in the same school system the entire time, so I'm pretty sure she would know several people both in 7th grade and 9th grade, at least well enough to join for lunch. Plus she has an older sister, so I'm betting that she should know several people in Janine's year, too (I speak from the experience of being in the same school system from kindergarten to 12th grade, plus having a brother who is two years older, this just makes no sense that Claudia would not know a single soul in 7th grade). But this is Stoneybrook, enough said. The next day, Claudia has her first 7th grade math test, and finds that she actually remembers most of this from last year. When she gets her test back, she sees a 96 on top of it. Plus, she realizes that several of the 7th grade girls are wearing their hair in the exact same style that Claudia did the day before. When lunchtime hits, Claudia sits down at the same table, but immediately several girls come over and sit with her. Apparently, instead of there being a stigma attached to the older girl who was forced to repeat a grade, Claudia is seen as the cool, stylish, more mature teenager with whom everyone wants to hang out. Umm....Mallory got bullied for her dad losing his job, but Claudia is a celebrity for flunking? Weird...

After her ego boost at lunch, Claudia is actually starting to enjoy 7th grade and feels better about the situation. However, she spots one of flyers in the hall about the upcoming 8th grade Halloween Hop, and all of a sudden, she has a moment of panic. She rushes to Mr. Kingbridge's office and asks if she can still attend the dance, but he tells her that 7th graders aren't allowed, and it would set a bad precedent for others if he let her go. Ok, when the Claudia was in 7th grade for the first time, she attended the Halloween Hop, so I'm not sure what has changed over the summer. Plus, Mallory and Jessi regularly attend every other dance, the Winter Wonderland dance, the Valentine's dance, so not sure why the Halloween dance is all of a sudden restricted to 8th graders. I guess we just needed the drama for Claud for this one book. So, Claudia is back to hating 7th grade, and when she goes to the afternoon Halloween festivities for the 6th and 7th graders, that involves games and bobbing for apples, she refuses to wear a costume and refers to the other kids there as immature brats (and she makes this comment to Jessi and Mal, so that would have been a fun reaction to see). Plus, since she is not going to the dance that night, she joins Jessi and Mallory in taking several of the neighborhood kids trick or treating, and again, she refuses to wear a costume. In fact, she gets so depressed over this, she even chooses not to tell her family or friends about the art show that weekend.

Anyone else feeling some "Arrested Development" sad, Snoopy walks here?

Claudia drags herself to the art show, where she finds out her piece won first place. Serena McKay pulls Claudia aside to find out what's wrong, and after Claudia confesses her troubles, Serena confesses her own secret - she, too, was held back two years in high school, but managed to work hard and found her strength in her art. Claudia feels better, and invites her family and friends to come to the art exhibit the next night. Plus, she joins her friends at a Halloween party at the children's wing of the Stoneybrook Hospital, where Jackie Rodowsky had been laid up with a concussion. The BSC had organized a Hospital Buddies program, where the neighborhood kids could send letters and cards to kids in the hospital. Which I'm pretty sure is never mentioned again. I guess we needed a feel-good subplot to balance out Claudia's story.



Halloween Costumes:

Kristy - Big Bad Wolf

Mary Anne - Little Red Riding Hood (last time Halloween rolled around in 8th grade, she was a cat.)

Stacey - 1920s flapper

Claudia #1 (original 8th grade dance outfit) - punk look, with her uncle's black leather jacket, torn fishnets, big black Doc Martens, a spandex miniskirt, and fake nose ring

Claudia #2, Hospital Buddies Halloween: scarecrow

Abby - soccer player

Mallory - Emily Dickinson (that just seems weird for a 6th grader...)

Jessi - Sugar Plum Fairy

Cokie Mason - a Barbie

Fashion overload in this one!!!

What Claudia Wore: "You know, my tie-dyed leggings, black overall shorts, red high-tops..."

Claudia, art class edition: "I chose a black sweatshirt with the neck cut out of it, black jeans (doesn't black just say "artist" to you?), and as a light-hearted touch, my purple high-tops with the orange laces." Umm...I kind of want some purple Converse with orange laces now.

Claudia, principal office edition: I wore a black wool jumper over my favorite red turtleneck." Seems like a Mallory or Mary Anne outfit.

Claudia, first day of 7th grade: "I'd settled on my moss-green Gap jeans, paired with a rust colored cardigan I'd found at the vintage clothing store. Also, my new Mary Janes, and a moss green scrunchie so I could tie my hair up in a Pebbles Flintstone ponytail on top of my head." Check the cover image for the top half of this outfit.

Claudia, art show edition: "I wore a long black jumper with red embroidery around the neckline, over a white turtleneck, added a pair of dangly earrings with red glass beads, and twisted my hair in a casual knot. For once, I didn't care how I looked." Way to lampoon Mallory's wardrobe choices, Claud.

What Rosa Wore: "That first day, she was wearing overalls, Doc Martens, and a funky black newsboy cap, turned sideways."

What Stacey Wore: "Stacey arrived next (looking sophisticated-yet-casual in a khaki skirt with a white blouse)."

Stacey, dream sequence edition: "Stacey was wearing  a short plaid kilt, white baby tee, black tights, and black chunky-heeled shoes." Very Cher Horowitz.

What Amy Wore: "Today I wore a fitted green t-shirt with a picture of a ruler on it and the words "I rule" (because sometime people just need to be reminded, y'all) under a swingy navy blue cardigan. I also wore comfy, faded blue jeans, and I finished the outfit with my red canvas Toms." Would Claudia and Stacey find my outfit "dibbly fresh"?