Stacey's Ex-Best Friend, #51

Seriously, Laine looks 35 on this cover.  And kind of like a Real Housewife by that facial expression.  Something else I realized, Claudia has a side ponytail on almost every cover shot.  Give me a different hairstyle, illustrator.

This book opened with a snowfall, and Stacey is at home with her mom.  She then says how much she loves living in the country, that it's so much more peaceful than the city.  I got really confused, because they bought a house right behind the Pikes, so that would indicate a suburban neighborhood, not the country.  Stace then explains that she considers the 'Brook "the country" because it's not New York City.  Umm...no.  That's not how that works.

Anyway, Stacey's NY BFF Laine calls for a chat, and tells Stacey that she has winter break coming up from February 7 - February 15 (one week surrounded by two glorious weekends, in Laine's words).  Wow, those NYC prep schools give nice holidays, we got Christmas break and Spring Break, but nothing midwinter.  Laine then goes on and on about how hard it is to be rich, I mean, how she can't decide what to do over break.  Should she go in the school ski trip?  Stay in NYC and party with her high school boyfriend (more on that later)?  Or fly down to Florida to say at her family's condo on the beach.  Umm...February in the Northeast?  I'm voting condo in FL, Laine.

Stacey has the brilliant idea to invite Laine to Stoneybrook for that week, even though SMS will still be in session.  She tells Laine that she can come to BSC meetings, have a BSC party, come to SMS with her one day, and even go to the Valentine's Dance at school.  Stacey assures Laine that it will be "so distant" (another BSC slang term, I'm sad that she didn't say dibble), and Laine says "what?" (that totally made me laugh out loud).  After Stacey explains what "distant" means, Laine does what any sensible 13 year old girl would do, and says she is going to the beach. Oops, no, this is AMM's crazy universe, so of course Laine chooses to visit Stoneybrook.

So, as Stacey heads to the BSC meeting, we get our Who's Who description of each member, and Stacey mentions that Mary Anne wears reading glasses.  I'm pretty sure I have never heard these glasses mentioned before, that kind of bugs me.  Plus, Dawn is described has having straw-colored hair, but the other books I've read so far say that she has white-blonde hair.  Maybe her hair is like those old Hypercolor tshirts, and changes based on the temperature or mood or something.  While at the meeting, Kristy decides they should give a Valentine's Day party for the BSC charges, that it can be a Valentine's Masquerade and all the kids can sign their names in code on the cards.  I bet the parents in Stoneybrook love the BSC, because the parents can basically get off the hook for every holiday since they know the BSC will throw a party.

Oh, and at the meeting, Claudia indicates that she won't have time to make the invitations, and Stacey secretly thinks that's a good thing, because the invites would probably say "It's a haliday! Come celabrat Vanentins Day with the BSC!" (My spell check totally freaked out, hee hee.)  She justifies the thought because she loves Claudia and knows that she's smart, but just doesn't apply herself.  Sounds like the Stoneybrook version of "Bless her heart."

Anyway, the day of Laine's arrival comes, and Stacey is frantically trying to make her room more sophisticated, changing the posters on her wall and hiding her stuffed pig collection (Laine makes fun of the pigs every time she calls, apparently).  After the house is deemed appropriate, they go to the train station to pick up Laine.  They drive back through Stoneybrook, and Laine is all, "Where's the town?"  Stacey is all taken aback, explains that the pizza parlor and library that she just pointed out was the town.  

So, Stacey has a BSC sleepover at her house to welcome Laine to the 'Brook.  They are talking about the upcoming dance, and Jessi mentions that Quint won't be able to come to town for this dance like he did for the Winter Wonderland dance (Snowbound shout out!!), and that she's going with Curtis Shaller, a 7th grader.  And Stacey has this Deep Thought by Jack Handey: "When you're eleven, though, I guess you don't expect relationships to last very long."  I might have snorted out loud there.  As the rest of the girls discuss their dates, Laine states that 13 year old boys are too dorky to date (Mary Anne gets all huffy) and that she's dating a 15 year old named King (*cough*trust fund baby*cough).  I got kind of confused by the description of King, though - initially Laine says he has long black hair with the ends dyed purple that he wears in a ponytail, but later mentions the he uses mousse to make his hair bushy and spiky.  Sounds like an NYC mullet going on, y'all.

But that is only the beginning of Miss Snotty McSnotterson.  She goes to school with Stacey, and when Pete Black asks her to the dance, she basically laughs in his face and only agrees to go with him after she calls King (or as she calls him, "Heart"), and makes fun of Pete and the whole BSC within earshot of Stacey.   Then, at the next BSC meeting, she asks when the BSC are going to get "real jobs."  Apparently, Laine got a job as a cashier in a trendy boutique in NYC.  Seriously, AMM?  Laine is 13 years old.  Even assuming that she may be 14 by the time the summer hits, there are very strict child labor laws out there, and if I remember Alabama laws when I was a teenager, any child under 16 could only work, like, 3 hours a day or something.  You really want me to believe that, in a city the size of NYC, the best candidate for this job was a 13 year old?  Pffft.

Friday night hits, and we get all Real World: Stoneybrook - that's right, people stop being polite and start getting real.  Laine gets all snarky because Pete and Austin Bentley (Stacey's date) aren't picking them up, instead everyone is meeting at the dance.  Plus, Pete buys Laine a corsage, but drops it and it gets trampled by the crowd.  Laine just waves it off like it isn't even worth her time, and after they walk in, makes fun of the decorations, food, and band.  She dances once with Pete, then tells him she is too tired to dance.  Literally 5 seconds later, as they are walking to a table, a hot guy asks Laine to dance and she immediately agrees.  And Stacey flips a table over (not really, but that girl was pissed).  A brouhaha ensues, claws come out, weaves end up on the floor, and Laine demands to go home to NYC that night.  Stacey can't agree fast enough.

A few days later, Stacey calms down and decides to write Laine a letter about how awful she is - "You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me...why you gotta be so mean?" (Ok, maybe that was Taylor Swift, but you get the picture).  Stacey says the she doesn't love Laine, but she always will (dang it, that's the Civil Wars...).  She also returns the BFF necklace Laine gave her when she moved back to Stoneybrook. And she signs this epic write-off: Stacey, your ex-best friend (she still dots all the i's with hearts though, so hard to take that seriously...).

Let's get some fashion here before things get too sad:

What Stacey wore (train station edition): "This is the outfit I had chosen in which to meet Laine: a purple shirtwaist top over flowered leggings, my cowboy boots (cowgirl boots? cowwoman boots?), a purple hair ornament made from shoelaces (I totally has a shoelace hairbow in elementary school.  And one made from balloons.) and long dangly silver earrings."  Stacey has a serious thing for flowered leggings.

What Stacey wore (Valentine's dance):  "I chose a red top and short jean skirt."  Pretty lame description, AMM.

What Stacey wore (BSC Valentine's Masquerade): "I was wearing red leggings, red ankle boots, a bulky red sweater, and red barrettes."  Sounds kind of like the all green elf outfit my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Carpenter, used to wear.  Yikes.

Howard Wolowitz called; he wants his wardrobe back.

What Laine wore (train station edition):  "She was hard to miss, considering she was wearing a jean coat with a fur collar (I sincerely hoped the fur was fake), black capri pants edged with lace, very chic black ankle boots, and on her head, a brilliant oversized red beret."

What Laine wore (Valentine's dance):  "She had on a black leotard, long black jacket, black leggings over black stockings (What!?!  Why, just...why?), and black shoes.  Her jewelry was silver though. And big."